Healing your pets over the telephone

This is a little beauty.

Holistic vet

Echoing similar claims made by medical quacks, it seems that these vets are getting in on the action. Seems that you don’t need to drag rover to the vet to have him diagnosed. Just follow these steps taken from the site.

On the day of the appointment, have your small animal inside an all metal cage (or in a plastic crate with aluminum foil on the floor and running out the front under the door). After providing your credit card information, we begin the exam. You will place the telephone on the metal cage or the aluminum foil in front of the crate, and we do the rest.

Yep, just place the phone on the metal and it somehow allows the vet to diagnose the ills of your pet. Makes sense if you’re 4, retarded or simply prefer to ignore those annoying laws of physics.

They describe their techniques ascomplimentary. This normally means that you should use this alongside conventional (i.e. scientifically tested) medicine/therapies. I don’t know how much they charge but I will offer their customers a bargain.

Send your credit card numbers and I will write the name of your pet on my Wall Of Health. My wall of health uses a previously unknown form of energy to encourage good health in your pet. Also, it will increase your chances of winning lotteries. I think the energy will probably make your feet smell better. I will do all of this for half the price that these holistic vets are charging.

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